My Husband, the Moment-Maker

A friend of ours once described his marriage in this way, and it has remained one of Patrick and my favorite ways of thinking about what makes marriage so great:

"When you're married, you don't have to rely on just yourself any more to solve problems. Suddenly you've got two sets of hands and two brains and two hearts that are all working together to figure things out."

Anyone who knows Patrick and me knows that in many ways, we prove the saying, "opposites attract." And one of the coolest things about that truth is the varying perspective we can often get from our two brains, hearts, and sets of hands on the same situation.

Patrick wrote the sweetest post about me not too long ago. And I have to say, moments like that are energizing to me: refusing to take no for an answer, beating the clock, fighting hard for what I think should happen. Carrying that over into daily life, I am the queen of making the To-Do list. Of thinking about all that needs to be done. Of pushing through until everything is in place. However, sometimes everything on the To-Do list doesn't need to be done - I just think it does. And sometimes my 'overdrive' is just my fancy way of trying to control a situation that can't be.

Enter Patrick Torres' brain. And heart. And two sets of hands.

Among the hundreds of things I love and admire about my husband, one of the biggest is this: Patrick is a Moment-Maker. He intrinsically - in a way that I usually miss - understands the importance of Stopping. Of seeing the beauty in the midst of chaos. Of marking important moments before they pass by.

Today we have hit the two-week mark from our due date. And with that, we are now officially "in the window," which means the baby could come at any time now. Although excited, this also fills me with a sense of panic about all that's left to do (Which really, is nothing: the baby will not care if there are not pictures on her wall.). Patrick and I have talked a lot about enjoying this last bit of time together before we forever become a different type of family. But Patrick always goes further than that...

Last week, Patrick surprised me with planning one last, big date night for us. Yes, hopefully, we'll get to go to the movies or out to dinner a time or two more, but it was important for my husband to plan something really special for the two of us to do together, just to celebrate us. So, without me knowing, Patrick bought us tickets to the amazing Cirque du Soleil: one of the most spectacular performances you could ever see where beauty meets athleticism. It's really absolutely incredible, and also something we had a chance to do with a group while we were still in college, when we had just started liking each other for the first time. So we dressed up, went to an amazing restaurant, talked about some of our favorite moments of our marriage so far, walked around the National Harbor, and then enjoyed the show. It totally felt like a DATE, and was really special.

I'm so blessed to have Patrick's heart alongside mine to step into my craziness and remind me of the importance of a Moment. And our baby is so blessed to have a Daddy that can model these things for her as well...especially when Mommy needs to just chill out. : )

Niki is Going to be a Great Mom

I wanted to write a quick note to give you all a glimpse into why Niki is going to be a great mother. On our way back from our final vacation before becoming parents (more on that later), our car had a melt down. Literally. The engine overheated...there was a ton of smoke...and then the car shut down. We managed to safely pull off on the side of the road. Luckily, we are a part of a roadside assistance program with our insurance company, so we got towed to Salisbury, MD for free. When we got to the repair shop, we discovered that our radiator was completely busted, and that they would have to order a new one. The problem was that it was Labor Day and all of their vendors were closed. They found one vendor open that actually had our radiator (a miracle in and of itself), but that vendor's driver had they day off. The mechanics apologized and told us they would have to fix it the following day. So, I was resigned to the fact that we were going to have to stay in Salisbury for the night, call work and let them know we would be out, and reschedule our baby appointment...but not Niki. She was going to solve the problem. She does not accept defeat. Niki just happened to have a friend from college who lives in Salisbury. (She knows people everywhere...which is another aspect of why she is going to rock as a mom...she loves to make friends!) So, she calls her friend and gets her to agree to drop everything she is doing and drive twenty miles away in Labor Day beach traffic to the one vendor who has our radiator. Of course, it didn't take much convincing...Niki is a great person and therefore has amazing friends. In the meantime, I am doubting the plan will work at all because the auto part dealer with the radiator has told me repeatedly on the phone that they are closing at 1:00 PM, meaning that our friend only has 20 minutes to get there. But, again, Niki will not accept defeat. She calls the man at the store and convinces him to wait to close down shop...and guess what?!?! He agrees that he will wait. Fortunately, he didn't have to. Our friend got there in time, and we became the owners of a brand new radiator! Now flash forward 5 hours later...The radiator is installed, and it is time to pay the bill...we find out that because we had a friend pick up and deliver the radiator, we saved $200 - $250 dollars! All because Niki refused to give up! And that is not all: Our insurance told us that if we got towed to this specific mechanic, we would get 10% off of the total. But that did not show up in the final bill. Well, after seven hours stuck in the waiting room of a mechanic shop, I was ready to pay the bill and get on the road without the discount. But Niki called the insurance company, who called the mechanic, who got his manager involved, and we got 10% taken off the bill! If it had all been up to me, we would have had to pay to stay an extra night in a hotel, an extra $200 dollars for a radiator, and we would not have gotten the discount on the bill. But I am married to an amazing woman. And she will be an amazing mother because she fights for what she believes is right and is unwilling to take no for an answer. She has the biggest heart and more determination than anyone I know. What child could ask for more in a mother? I am so thankful to have her in my corner as a partner on this journey of becoming parents - she is a rock star!

A Visit from our Moms!

Last week Niki and I were fortunate enough to have both of our mothers come for a visit. We had such a great time with them, and they certainly showered us with so many blessings and gifts as we prepare for our daughter's arrival. We spent one day shopping for some of the bigger items we knew we would need before the baby is born. We did so much shopping that we could barely fit in the car...Mom and Donna literally had to ride home with the mattress for the crib on their heads! I love the picture! But their gifts went far beyond materials. Both of them worked tirelessly to help us get our house prepared for life after the birth. From pulling weeds to doing laundry to rearranging furniture to helping get our girl's room set up, they gave so much of themselves that I am sure they were exhausted when they got home. I cannot tell you how grateful we are for their hard work and love. These two women are a force to be reckoned with when it comes to making their children's life easier. And as I sit here and write this, it is shocking to me to know the next time we see them, we will be parents. Wow. We will be parents the next time we see our moms and dads and brothers and in laws and everyone in our family. I hope we can be as loving and generous as our entire families have been to us. Thinking about the love that it took to pull weeds and spray insecticide in the sweltering heat or to make multiple trips from the basement to the baby's room when your legs and back are screaming at you to stop makes me appreciate the work of parenthood. We are grateful for the example our mothers were while they were here, and we hope to honor them in the way we love our child. And we also know that if it ever just gets too hard, we can send her to stay with Grandma...that will make it all better.